Melinda’s Bio
| August 23, 2010 | Posted by Melinda under Uncategorized |
Would you like to see what happens when Melinda is asked to write a bio for the VP of the company? Especially when she knows, that the VP knows, (and the manager knows) there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell for a promotion because of The Vet School Plan in 9 months. So…no reason to play nice right? May as well get it all out there in the open and have some fun, right?
Without further ado…..I give you: Melinda’s Bio.
Requirements for bio (and yes, this was the only guidance given – what did they THINK I was going to do with this?????) – write something about yourself – eductaion, hobbies, interests, experience etc.
*clears throat*
“Melinda graduated from UC Davis in 2006 with a B.S. Degree in Avian Science. She avoided poultry like a plague in college and had only taken one food science class (food microbiology) before accepting position with (Company Name Edited, which is by definition a POULTRY and FOOD PROCESSING company). Consequently, once she accepted the position in her senior year, she begged her advisor to cram her schedule full of poultry and food science classes the last quarter, with the hope of having some knowledge of her future career before meeting her potential manager.
Melinda quickly learned that most of the coursework was useless and it was her prior job experience in vaccine development/quality control, dairy production, hatcheries, and guiding 3rd graders through the intricacies of learning the violin, that benefited her the most.
Melinda spends most of her time thinking, dreaming, and planning 100 mile competitions on her arab mare, Farley. In Melinda’s “spare” time, she tries to keep up appearances that she *really does* practice her fiddle, attends various music events, and writes for several blogs and publications. Melinda is writing a novel as well – based on past progress, it may be finished some 100 years after her death.”
My Manager, upon recieving this bio, said I was DIFFERENT. (the caps are his…..)
Work can be so much fun if you aren’t climbing the corporate ladder.
Which reminds me – I need to, at some point not-so-distant-in-the-future need to FINISH my vet personal statement. ASAP. As in RIGHT NOW. Totally. Not. Motivated.
LMAO, gal.
Writing those bioblurbs can be so challenging. I had to write one years ago for an organization that took itself Very Seriously (and yet, they wanted to hire ME, and they didn’t “get” the disconnect).
My blurb for them included stuff like studying advanced techniques on the two-handed kazoo….. They hired me anyhow. >shrug< WV: “remorsmi”
Italian-language motto of MAD Magazine.
Ha Ha. Honesty is the best policy. And often, much more entertaining. Makes me think that you should go after a realistic novel instead of a fantasy one…