I have an Excuse!
| November 6, 2010 | Posted by Melinda under Uncategorized |
Now I’m sure all of you were wondering why I didn’t post the other day. We will ignore the fact that my posts have not been as predicatable lately as in the past and I will pretend you’all were on the edge of your seats wondering WHY I didn’t have an enlightening, or at the bare minimum, self-depricating post up!
Many of you probably assumed I was working on my website.
You would have been wrong. (although I am diligently working to have my site up and running at least partially by Saturday….)
As a matter of fact, I had sat down to write a post. As I recall it was a rather banal post on how you should NEVER buy vehicle or trailer from an endurance rider, because when you ask us how much it was used, we will get this far away look in our eyes – which you will wrongly assume to mean we can’t remember the last time we pulled it out of the drive way. Actually, we are recalling the time at Patriots 100, in October of 2010 when we had to pull it over an unimproved road with a 2WD truck and the only option was to close our eyes and hit the gas when ever we hit a particular bad mud section. In fact, if you looked closely at the trailer, you might still see the mud splatter where I couldn’t quite reach up the side of the trailer….
I had sat down in my recliner, probably picked my nose, gave a big sigh, and opened up a blank word document. When I looked up.
And there he was!
My stalker!
I’ve had a stalker, per my neighbors for ~2 years. The police have been called, notes have been left on my truck, and neighbors have knocked on my door. However, I had never seen him. I had a general description so when I saw a guy, leaning on the railing looking directly into the apartment livingroom I froze. This was HIM! I couldn’t see his face but he matched the description.
I very casually walked over the kitchen and grabbed my phone. And ran into the bathroom.
And called 9-1-1 for the first time in my life.
And promptly forgot my address.
Then wandered casually into the kitchen and swept – because if the cops actually CAME in, how horrible would it be to have an unswept floor?
I kept an eye on the guy on the railing. Approximately 15 minutes after making the report he wasn’t there.
I ran over to the sliding glass door and saw him exiting the complex on the ground floor (I do not live on the ground floor). I got a good look at his back in the light, and stifled the urge to run out and follow him.
The cops missed him by 3 minutes.
The cops asked me amusing questions – when I return from running do I wear my running clothes around the house? Now mind you, I’m answering their questions in my riding tights, tall boots, and a tank top. The female cop is asking me to live with my blinds closed and to not run in the dark. The male cop is looking me up and down and remarking I could probably out run the guy, whom I estimate to be at least 300 pounds. He nods approvingly when I mention self defense training and I have a feeling he’s already looked me up in the computer and knows my status as a armed citizen. The female cop is frowning at him and asking if I live alone.
Today and tomorrow are dedicated to working on the website!
Dog. Please get a dog. Please, please, please get a dog. It doesn’t have to be a huge dog. A midsize dog to be a companion for running and riding and home security. It can be a nice fuzzy friendly dog, as long as it can hear stuff before you hear it, and will bark its fool head off at unauthorized people. Please?
OMG! How terrifying! I’m glad the police did come, it’s just so unfortunate they weren’t able to get there in time!
Stay safe!
Mel,
This is really a BAD situation. Please don’t take it lightly. I work for a large mental health agency, and these type of people escalate. First they watch from a distance, then closer, and eventually they need a bigger thrill. That is when things become dangerous. Get a dog, a security system, a can of mace, or a permit to carry 🙁 This is very upsetting and brings out all of my “MOM” instincts. It also makes me want to kick the crap out of the guy.
I agree, get a dog. Especially if you are riding alone. Stalkers know more about you and your habits than you realize. Be careful, do not take the situation lightly.
Here’s my take: I was an associate instructor at a karate school for many years. I ended up teaching most of the women (extra classes, on top of the regular karate classes) because there were very few of us and some of the “self defense” moves in the regular class weren’t very practical if you are against an opponent who is 12″ taller, 100 lbs heavier, and/or 20 years younger. I taught my students to use the tools at hand (coffeepot full of hot coffee! tablecloth! the cat!) to defend themselves.
One of the most VITALLY IMPORTANT things I tried to impress upon my students is to pay attention to your gut feelings . If your guts say something is wrong, don’t just slide another bullet in your gun and figure you’ll be fine. LEAVE. Get the hell away. Do not wait for a rational explanation. Go stay with a friend, go out to dinner, take a different route home, go to the gym instead of running the familiar streets near home. Go to the barn and run there. Take your horse with you! Do not count on being smarter than your opponent in a crisis; instead, it’s vitally important to change your circumstances so that the opponent can no longer enter your space. In other words: the best position to occupy in a riot is on the other side of town, having tea with a friend.
And also: I’m serious about getting a dog. You will never accidentally shoot yourself in the foot with your own dog. Nobody will ever break into your place and steal your dog and then use the dog to kill somebody else. My dogs are dumb fluffballs and about as dangerous as two exceedingly loud throwpillows…but the racket they make will send intruders away.
And it will help the rest of us stop worrying.
I like your strategy of trying not to let on that you saw him out there, and trying to hold him there until the police arrived. I guess he didn’t find sweeping to be interesting enough. I’m glad you’ve got neighbors who notify you that you’ve got a stalker. In my case my neighbors are my stalkers. I got so sick of them looking in my windows at night that I tried hiding out in the bushes with a flash camera to catch them in the act, and then I was going to deliver the pictures to the police. I wouldn’t recommend that in your case, though. I’m dealing with mainly a nosy old lady while you are dealing with a 300-pound man. I hope that either they get him next time or that there won’t be a next time.
So unfortunatly a dog is out of the question. I work long hours, there’s a pet maximum at my apartment, AND no outdoor space. I’m only at this location for a couple more months.
That being said – I am dedicated to being careful and I’ve taken some precautions which I’m not going to detail here because there is some stuff that shouldn’t go on line!
The blog had a light tone because that what the blog is for – to poke fun at situations that would otherwise make me crazy. In real life I’m taking matters very seriously. Plus – the more people that know about the situation, the better!
Now where did I put those hollow points?
Have the apartment manager been questioned for anytyhing he might know about the guy? Do you have a deadbolt? If not, ask the manager to have one installed. And… do whatever you possibly can to KNOW that he would not be in there waiting for you when you get home.
Stalkers are the worst! I had one before (a neighbor in my apartment when I was living alone) and it is just no fun at all. Even though I am sure that you would get away, it is still scary to think about. I am sorry the cops missed him.