Running is a cruel mistress
| January 24, 2025 | Posted by Melinda under Uncategorized |
As I was brushing my teeth last night I realized two things.
- I got to sleep in my own bed for the second time in ten days (and no, I wasn’t on vacation that whole time. I’ve been picking up a LOT of extra overnight ER shifts). The extra money is nice, but you know what else is nice? MY flannel sheets and MY pillows.
- Tomorrow I needed to go running again. Despite having *just* been running yesterday, and having a million other things I needed to get done on a rare day off.
But wait, I LIKE running. It’s not a chore to be checked off along with unloading the dishwasher and doing my laundry, running is something that I do for my self – for my mental health, my physical health, and because there is a joy to being outside with the dirt under my feet.
Running requires consistency. I’ve never been an every day running, but 3-4 runs per week has been my normal for over 20 years. Most are short (30-40 min), but they are there, like brushing my teeth, eating, and sleeping.
Consistency.
That’s the moment I realized that in my life right now I do nothing consistently except for work.
I don’t even have the assurance of my own bed to sleep in.
A lack of time to do whatever I choose consistently came as a shock. That’s not how I view my life at all. My life is filled with things I love doing, and a job that I enjoy that pays my bills and allows me to do the things I love without counting every penny right now. I knew I was busy – it’s a struggle to find the time to practice the fiddle, run, meet all my volunteering obligations, and read a book to Fig at night. But, I hadn’t connected just how busy I am until I realized that even finding the time to run 3x a week consistently seemed impossible, and it wasn’t because I was lazy, spending too much time doom-scrolling, or simply choosing not to run.
I stumble into pockets of time that I use wisely and jealously, but more often than not a week will pass represented by only a single run.
Running highlights consistency in the way that none of my other hobbies do.
The ponies? Matt does the sets when I can’t (I’m up to 8 horses now. ????. More later I promise).
The fiddle? No problem, do some warm up scales and I’m good to go for however long I decide to play.
But running?
Running is a cruel and jealous mistress.
Set running down for 2 weeks and it doesn’t just “come back” and feel fine after some warm up stretches.
Friends getting their runs in don’t seem to count towards my own running.
Also, it turns out you can’t just consolidate all your weekly runs into one run every 7-10 days. I mean, you can, but it’s not the same thing at all as “losing myself in the music for an hour because I haven’t practiced for a while”. No, running will remind me every minute of my poor decisions.
I’ve never understood people that said I ran a lot. The majority of my running over the decades has been a couple of 30 minute runs a few times a week. That’s not a lot. It’s just little bits that add up over time.
But now I find myself thinking, “Really, already time for another run?”
I love my busy full life. But, maybe instead of using my to-do list as a barometer of available space in my life for more work hours or projects, I can simply ask myself, “how’s the running going?”
