|May 27, 2014||Posted by Melinda under Uncategorized|
It seems like every time someone is about to go through a big transition – graduation, marriage, having kids, a major career advancement – along with the well-wishes comes a plethora of advice and prophesies.
Which is fine. The advice is usually given with good intentions and is a way to share in a big exciting transition.
But, there is a certain kind of advice I would really really REALLY appreciate if these “well-wishers” kept to themselves.
So far my transition to clinics have not significantly interfered with my running or riding, or anything else that is a critical priority in my life. Which just reaffirms my belief that you make time for those things that are important to you, regardless of what you are doing. So forgive me if I roll my eye when a clinician will exclaim in amazement over what I’m able to accomplish in my “off time” while still performing at a high level in the clinic, and then *always* follow up with well meaning advice of “well….when you are in practice you won’t be able to (fill in the blank).”. Really? Because I’ve heard that a number of times over my life. “When you have a full time job and are out of college you won’t have time to be able to…” “When you get into vet school you won’t be able to…” “When you start clinics you won’t be able to….” ” When you live with your boyfriend/husband you won’t be able to….”
Can we all agree not to place limits on what someone else may or may not accomplish in various stages of life?
I usually sense 2 unspoken themes in a person as they tell me how limited I’ll be in the future.
1. Regret. It’s as if they aren’t talking to me at all, but talking to their former self – a self that *didn’t* take the opportunity to do those things that they always kinda wanted to do….
2. Defensiveness. Of why they can’t do any of that stuff their past self wanted to do NOW…..because while every life stage is different and has something to offer that is unique and exciting, the basic principle of life doesn’t often change – it’s usually *not* easier to do something tomorrow that is hard to today.
So please, before letting this type of advice out of your mouth, consider what you are really saying to that person. Are you talking to them? Or are you talking to your former or current self? If you aren’t accomplishing what you want out of life, then fix *that* first. Because the story of how you made YOUR life more fulfilling is *way* better than using your life as a cautionary tale.
Now I need cheering up. Pony pictures should do the trick!!!!!
PS: you may have noticed that my previous post was password protected. It’s not scandalous or private – it just goes into more detail about vet school than I’m comfortable distributing to anyone who may come across this blog that isn’t a semi-regular reader. Feel free to request the password for the post (and any more I have coming in the future) via email ([email protected] or any of the others I have floating around…) and I’ll forward it along.
Here, here! I’ve gotten that a lot too, and you’re right, you make/find time for the important things.
Great point, great post.
Here ya go: when I graduated from library school, I was voted the librarian “most likely to have fun after graduation” because I didn’t stop having fun while I was in school.
If you want to do it, you’ll find a way.
If you don’t want to do it, you’ll find an excuse.
Now, go have fun!
Very perceptive and very good advice. My personal favorite is when people tell me that I can’t do something that…I have already done and/or been doing for years. Of course there’s only so much time/resources/energy to go around, but the important stuff will stick if it’s important enough.
Hey Mel! Let me tell you one thing: you are totally, totally right on your observations! I hope you still like this and do not let people tell you what you will or what you won’t be able to handle while in your professional life. You are very organized and perseverant person. Actually, I think I should learn organization and goals accomplishments with you…lol!
But here is my advice… Well, when you have your children you know you won’t have time for all this, right?….. Just kidding! 😉
LOL. very funny 🙂
Re-reading this post today, as even now I post something about recognizing that the upcoming year will be more difficult than most to ride and run and do what I think of as “priorities”. I still don’t think that negates the message of this post. Do what you can, accept what you can’t, and do not allow another person to determine those limits for you.