There’s no magic (most of the time)
|January 27, 2021||Posted by Melinda under Uncategorized|
One of my intentions this month is to write 3-4 times a week.
Most of the time I’m not inspired. Or the things that are floating to the top that want to be written about take too much emotional energy to give them life on the paper. How student loans have changed from a way to change your socioeconomics you were born into, to a fuck you stop. Whether or not I have an obligation to treat an animal that has no chance just because the owner has the money (or insurance) to try. How most big successful companies fail after their is a shift in their industries, and they fail to adapt and how I’m seeing that play out around me in the veterinary industry. How I’m making peace with having a retired mare and a talented mare that is more of a pet and companion than a performance horse right now as I gradually find myself moving further away from my identity as someone that cares about riding right now.
But these are really heavy things and I just can’t right now.
The funny-not-so-funny thing is that when I look back in the past when I was writing more, the process seems like magic. Where did that inspiration come from? How did I focus? What magical incantation did I tap out with my toes and swirl with my fingers to be able to write so regularly?
The answer of course is that there was no magic. I got up, I opened my computer, and I started writing. Almost every day.
Like most things in this world, once the ball is rolling there’s this nebulous thing called momentum.
The power of momentum might be the one true magic in this world.
It doesn’t make logical sense that the thing is easier to do today if I’ve done it for the last 10 days. I don’t understand it.
But it’s a magic that works.
I haven’t picked up my fiddle in over a year. This year I’ve decided to “make time” for it again, which I’ve come to realize just means “play often enough for 2 weeks that there’s enough momentum that I feel compelled to play daily again.”
And that’s exactly what happened.
I’m still waiting for the magic to happen for my writing (and my horses). But in the meantime I get out of bed when I’m supposed to, pour myself a cup of coffee, and start scrolling through writing notes where I have jotted down article and post ideas. And when nothing strikes my fancy I start typing about something…anything…because maybe I need to push the boulder up the hill for a little ways before it can tumble down the other side.