Me being whiny
|May 18, 2012||Posted by Melinda under Uncategorized|
Hey folks –>
I’m having a really tough time. Nothing specific, but I’m completely unmotivated to do anything I NEED to do, and totally unmotivated to do anything that I know will motivate/make me feel better such as running, riding etc.
I’m grumpy, irritated, and unamused by puppy antics (Tess has pretty much stopped talking to me). Part of me is not riding because I’m afraid that my current lack of temper control and general grumpiness at the world is going to translate into me being short and unfair to Farley (which she does NOT deserve) and other part of me feels like that’s just another excuse not to ride and be lazy. My knee hurts and I’m so tired and fat that the idea of going for a run makes me want to curl into a small ball and die.
One more week of school. Nothing specific bothering me. I’ve been in this funk for THREE DAYS and CANNOT snap out of it. I’ve tried being super focused in class (caffeine!!!!), not going to class (mmm….sleeping in), studying, not studying, eating junk food, fasting, eating healthy, going on walks, checking things off my to-do list, RSVPing for a party, shunning all social interactions, training tess, not training tess, cancelling agility lessons (more on that in Tess’s blog later). AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So when nothing works and you want something fixed, what do you do? Blog. It’s worked quite nicely for a number of situations where I was at a loss, both on horse back and off. So this is me being honest and whiny. I don’t know how blogging is going to help, but since it’s:
I’m trying it.
I’m going on a backpacking trip for 4 days the week after school ends and honestly, I want to be on the trail with my pack so bad right now it brings tears to my eyes, so my guess is I just need a mental break that consists of a lot of slow movement over the majority of the day, with plenty of sleep, and a couple glasses of wine. (staying away from the wine until my trip since the thought of drinking right now smacks of self-medication in a BIG way –> wine is going with me on the trip by virtue of a platypus bottle).
Back to learning about toxicology and nutrition.