Dear Farley
| June 23, 2014 | Posted by Melinda under Uncategorized |
Dear Farley,
Please stop inviting the Gremlins over for play dates. You will not be doing Tevis this year but a much more fun ride that is coming up very soon. One which cannot occur if you manage to turn your fly blanket into a strait jacket or give yourself a stone bruise or abscess.
Dear Mel,
I’m pretty sure it was ML’s fault that the blanket ended up half off to one side and dragged through the dirt. Just ask her. And I tried to tell you about the rock a gazillion times – do you think I was doing uphill transitions for fun? But all you did was start talking about this was the *last* time you were going out without a crop so what was I suppose to do? Bet you feel bad now that a rock 2/3 the size of your fist was lodged there!!!!!!!!!
P.S. I’m pretty sure you are the one inviting the Gremlins along. Did you hear your ride and tie championship partner is pregnant? And thew boots at her horse at her last ride?
P.P.S. Please glue boots on me so we can avoid incidents with rocks and with intra-ride boot tosses.
Dear Farley,
Are you planning on being an ass? That’s usually how mares get tied up and left to be eaten by bears.
P.S. I’m grieving therefore you have to be nice to me.
Dear Mel,
Isn’t it illegal to have 3 riders on a ride and tie team?
P.S. My feet need trimming again.
Dear Farley,
Shut up.
*Tomorrow I’m going for a run*
Ahahahah this is perfect!!!
Dear Farley,
clearly mediation is needed. For a mere 200 pounds of cookies (plus tax) I will bite anybody that needs biting here. Except the pregger lady, who is inexplicably nice to me. And my mum, because, duh, she would eat me and then leave me tied out for the bears.
But anybody else, just call me. My rates are quite reasonable.
Sincerely Fiddle (aka the Dragon).
P.S. you need a nickname. Something badass. I’m just sayin’.
Well, let’s see her. She was “sugar” and “muffin” and “star” before I got her. My nickname for her is “piglet” for the greedy snorting, snuffling sounds she makes as she hoovers mash. None are *quite* appropriate for the occasion.
Me screaming B*TCH at her as she sprained my ankle a couple weeks ago was less a nickname of endearment and more a promise to kill her in her sleep.
Mmmm….badass nickname contemplation needs to begin.
LOL 🙂
Dear Farley. This is Major. Since you got the rock, do not pretend to be lame. It is boring to be lame. Make your Mom glue on boots, or she will call you bad names when it is not your fault when you go running up the hill and they come flying off.
It is also important to let them think they are boss. Pretend you are afraid of the crop. Make a cute face when they give you treats. Works every time.
-Major D (for Danger, NOT dork) horse