A Bee in my Bonnet (and other happenings)
|May 26, 2023||Posted by Melinda under Uncategorized|
Except even more horrifying, it was in my pants.
What I learned in that moment is that I can remove my pants with my seat belt on in about 3 microseconds when properly motivated.
Define properly motivated?
How about definitively palpating an alive and moving bug at the level of the inside of my knee and moving upward.
I had *thought* I felt something briefly crawling at my ankle a few minutes earlier into the car ride. I checked and nothing was there. Just a forest of unshaved leg hair (I know. TMI. but seriously, I barely have time nowadays to shower let alone shave hair).
Then something on my shin….nope. Nothing.
But now. There was a distinct crawling feeling AT MY INNER KNEE. And when I scratched at it with my hand I COULD FEEL THE HARD BODY OF AN INSECT AND IT WAS MOVING.
I immediately envisioned a cockroach. One of those big shiny black ones you see outside (is this just a thing where I live? ). ‘Tis the season for the bastards and it wasn’t inconceivable (at least in that panic-stricken moment) that one had ended up in my pants.
In less time than it took to read that sentence I had tossed my breakfast into the windshield and tore the not-stretchy, absolutely involved zippers and buttons pants off my hips while screaming and flailing and shoving the pants and (hopefully the bug) onto the floorboards.
Barely escaping death, I folding my legs cross-wise in the seat, deciding what blowtorch would be sufficient to make the car and the pants safe again and looking at the red mark on my tender inner knee where the uninvited guest had intruded.
“Are you going to put your pants back on?” To his credit, Matt didn’t crash the car, laugh, or get a black eye from my swinging arms during the whole ordeal.
“Nope.” Surely this enlightened age, pants were definitely optional even if I was headed to conference that would involve hoards of other vets and clients and likely pro-pant people.
“OK.” ***long pause**** “I think you should put pants back on.”
“Then I’ll take yours, thank you.” (spoiler alert. He did not donate his pants to the cause.)
In the end he shook the pants out on the side of the highway, no bug was located, and then I found a poor little dead bee on the floorboards, which made way more sense than a cockroach considering I had ran across the lawn to get to the car….and explained the little red itchy marks on my leg.
But while a bee is not what nightmares are made of, can we still agree that there is no such thing as an overreaction when it comes to ants (or otherwise) in our pants?
Other things that are happening:
Giving away less pieces of myself, Farley gets Adequan, and a new horse trailer (with bonus adventure)
I’m writing more because I’m finally figuring out how to build better boundaries against the constant barrage of not-at-work vet related messages and requests, and everyone wanting a piece of me and me with not enough pieces to give, even if I give up everything else that matters to me like a shred of down time to call my own, let alone something not related to vetmed, or simply enjoying a glass of wine.
As a joke I started a timer that I would reset every time I had to address a vet-related thing when I wasn’t at work. I stopped because it was too depressing.
I’ve tried a lot of different strategies to stay on task and not be way-laid by the calls and messages that filter in, but it turns out that one of the simplest things has been the most effective. Structure my time so that I know what I’m supposed to be doing, and then use the app “Forest” to make me think twice about checking messages during that scheduled time.
Voila. Now if I’m supposed to be writing from 9:30 to 11:30am on my day off, it happens more often, knowing that at noon I have time set aside for messages (and later on riding my horses, movement, and even playing the fiddle).
I started Farley on Adequan this week. It’s frustrating that adequan is still so expensive and there’s no generic, despite being around since 1989. The company is very aggressive in its marketing which turns me off, and while I’ve thought about doing Adequan in the past, the cost has always deterred me. I ended up with some vials given to me, and with a ride and tie event in a few weeks, I decided why not? Mobility in an older horse, especially one that still wants to compete like Farley, is worth the cost of Adequan if it works, and it’s way more convenient than feeding a daily supplement like Platinum Performance CJ (which worked for Farley, but has a banned ingredient for AERC competition and is difficult to give consistently in my boarding situation). I’ll keep you guys posted.
Did I mention that I bought a 4 horse gooseneck trailer? It’s a dream to pull and I absolutely see why you’all that have them love them. It’s an older Exiss 4 horse aluminum trailer with a removable rear tack and a HUGE dressing room. It pulls like a dream and isn’t any heavier than my three horse steel trailer was. I still have my two horse aluminum trailer for quick trips to trail heads, rides, and around town, but if the space at my destination can accomodate, it’s such a luxury to have the space and comfort of the Exiss.
Of course, the first trip I took it on I blew a tire. On the interstate. At least a mile from the exit. Driving along the shoulder at 20(?)ish mph on a strip of asphalt just as wide as my truck with semi trucks whizzing by at 65mph, trying to get to the exit where I could then change my own damn tire since the roadside company we use was happy to change it for me as long as I UNLOADED FOUR HORSES first since it was “safer.” I suspect that the people that make these rules have never seen the havoc and horror that four 1,000 pound beasts could unleash as they frolicked through six lanes of high speed traffic (I have and it involves dead and smashed things, and not all of them would have four legs), and it was safer for all involved if the the horses stayed in the trailer – thank you very much – but since the woman on the phone kept talking about “jacking up the trailer” when I knew damn well that anyone with a ounce of common sense would be using a ramp…..the whole thing was suspect…..and thus, returning to the “change my own damn trailer” plan.
Except my blocks were in my OTHER trailer (although at the last minute I had thrown my star lug wrench into the tack room thank god) so I couldn’t *quite* rescue myself and had to rely on the good graces of my friend who saw me on the shoulder and pulled over in her trailer to lend me a ramp and a pat on the shoulder of encouragement (and yes, we got the tire changed.).
I want to point out that this is the thing I tried to avoid by having the trailer INSPECTED before I bought it. “Please make sure the check the floors and the tires,” I specifically said.
“Floor looks good! Tires are 2019!”
The picture of the tires I had seen on the sale ad sure looked like the date code said 2017 (week code 19), but maybe I got the week and year reversed and what do I know….I’m just a lowly female who has literally been gaslighted by auto shops and repair places my entire life. So instead of calling them out on it I stayed silent.
I was not silent on the side of the road when I saw that the tire that had blown was a 2007 date code. I’m pretty sure they could hear the f-bombs I was screaming all the way to Reno, where said trailer inspection place was. Noticeably older than the other tires. Clearly 2007. And if I had bothered to use my eyes and my brain, let alone the power of google instead of letting a life time of being gaslit keep me silent, perhaps I wouldn’t be on the *fucking side of the road with 4 horses, a 7 year old child, and NO SNACKS.
*Yes, in this circumstance I absolutely get to use the unbleeped word.
The spare didn’t even have a date code on it.
In the end, we determined that two of the tires were 2019, one was 2017, and the one that blew was 2007. The trailer “inspection” shop had just looked at the tires on one of the sides, saw the 2019 codes (the picture I saw of the 2017 tire must have been from the other side) and declared all four tires of the same vintage.
My bad. Next time I’ll specify that I would like an individual check on each. of. the. four. tires. Plus the spare.
But, despite the tire drama (and my newly re-shaped fender as a result), I love the trailer and I guess I just have another trailer story to tell!