Yep – I’m back from vacation. I had an incredibly funny, entertaining post about my vacation in my head last night, but now as I stare at the computer from work, feeling slightly nauseous and dizzy as I look at the screen (it’s official – doing a tremendous amount of staring at the computer is not natural, as I cannot imagine that I still hung over after 5 DAYS), I admit I cannot think of even one witty tirade. (as I re-read the previous sentence I am reminding myself that is NOT good GRE essay writing sentence construction for this Friday, even if it is technically grammatically correct – I think. Mom will have to chime in on that one.)
Let’s talk about my major accomplishments during vacation:
1. I discovered the difference between celebratory ice cream and eating ice cream because I’m moody and borderline depressed.
Let me explain.
The first day of my vacation I was so excited (finally a REAL vacation) I needed icecream to celebrate. I contemplated Ben and Jerry’s or Cold Stone. I celebrated with Coldstone pumpkin ice cream with almonds AND peanut butter cups in a waffle bowel and skipped gleefully to the stable where me and my pony went on a completely relaxed, smile-inducing, 5 mile trail ride.
Last night, after realizing I now have absolutely zero hours of vacation, my pony is fuzzy, and the seasons are officially changing I indulged in an entire pint of laughing herd icecream (think Ben and Jerry’s). It didn’t help that I was watching chick flicks, one of which was set during Xmas. I hate Xmas. Everyone’s so happy and jolly when I’m depressed, moody and can’t hardly drag myself out of bed due to a sun deficit. Every year Xmas becomes more and more unbearable. Yep, I’m a regular Grinch. And really – who’s life really resembles the romance of a chickflick anyways? I allowed myself a night of icecream to assuage the quaternary whammy blow of: 1. the dark months are coming, 2. Xmas is coming, 3. I have no more vacation, 4. I’m (almost) a quarter century old and still cannot manage to (insert your favorite tirade of how you’re absolutely worthless because the thoughts going through my head are not good blog material).
Anyway, I think the point is that there is a vast difference in how the calories count towards your waist line if you are eating it in a celebratory or a depressed mood. I’m sure of it.
2. I knitted a pair of socks. For myself. Again. I can’t help it. At some point I should cease to be selfish and knit someone else a pair.
3. Although I may be a small town California girl, I have NOTHING on the small town people from Nebraska, South Dakota etc. Seriously. Population 14? Seriously? I asked for a box of tea at the grocery store and was handed a box. The only box they had. Of Lipton. With Caffeine. *sigh*.
4. I still know how to make a total and complete a$$ of myself
. Isn’t that a trait of enduring youth? Something that makes me forever young or some such nonsense? No need to go into the specifics here (and no, you really don’t want to know) but I’m sure all my readers over the age of 30 can think back in their youth and use their imaginations.