February is the longest month
| February 17, 2016 | Posted by Melinda under Uncategorized |
As I long suspected, February IS the longest month of the year, Aarene said so.
My train of motivation left the station at the beginning of the month and is currently whereabouts unknown. The horses are still in cryofreeze until Daylight savings (currently t = 25 days) but on day 6 of sitting inside watching yet another episode of Longmire on Netflix, completely unmotivated to do anything, I realized I had a single easy run on the books for last week despite beautiful sunshine and spring temps and I didn’t even want to go outside and walk.
Seasonal affective disorder? Maybe. Complete depletion of willpower because of copious amounts of decision-making? More than likely.
Moving changed my environment and made what had been structured as auto-decisions as conscious-decisions again.
Buying a house and completely updating it – but not all at once – requires so many small important decisions that it’s a wonder I have enough willpower not to eat a gallon of ice cream every night and binge on Netflix and library books every chance I get (Oh wait, that IS what I’m doing).
Decision making fatigued combined with winter’s last dark hurrah is not exactly a recipe for success. Spring is so close I can feel it and SEE it (the fruit trees are in bloom in CA’s central valley and the wildflowers have come out to play), but that doesn’t mean spring is here just yet.
I can’t fix the month of February (40 days and nights seems a bit long to me dontcha think?) but I can use what I know about willpower, motivation and training to feel like I’m still on track to achieve my long-term goals at the end of today.
- Running and strength training is unrealistic if I can’t even get out the door. Therefore plan on daily walks instead.
- Set up a reward myself for doing the small things every day (I like the iachievement app, mostly because I got it free). If you guys are interested in what my reward program looks like, let me know.
- Go to bed on time, wake up on time. Shower. These 3 things are the first to go when instead of “recovering and resting”, I’ve fallen into the trap of “cave dwelling hermit”.
- Automate as many house decisions as possible. Defer and put off as many house decisions (If we aren’t painting the exterior of the house until summer, I don’t have to decide on colors until later).
- Reinstitute as many auto decisions about day-to-day life as possible. It’s hard when everything about the situation is temporary. It seems like so much work and trouble to do anything but exist. But the reality is that trying to just exist without those autodecisions and structure in place is even more work.
- When overwhelmed and trying to get my footing and wondering where to begin…focus on the concept of Spark Joy.
- Continue to remind and reassure myself that the horses are just fine until their March deferment. Guilt doesn’t solve anything for me…just makes me want to sleep in later and eat cookies and read until the wee hours of the morning.
It’s as if all the insights I’ve blogged about in the last 7 years are being called upon right now. It’s as if I’m being asked whether I’ve truly learned anything in the last 7 years. Can I apply it and live it, not just think and write about it? Can I stay patient and pick the right time? Can I stay dedicated and focused in the valleys? Can I trust that the tiny microsteps that I take daily will add up to something magical in the future? Will I let my circumstances be an excuse or will I continue to find a way?
Pretty sure that’s where I’m at. But I don’t exactly have a map, just a compass with marginal compass-reading skills.
Not for the first or last time do I wish I could flip ahead a couple of chapters in the book of life and see what happens.
Looking forward to seeing you, even briefly, at convention and I must meet Fig soon! It will be proper spring before you know it and meanwhile I *know* you’ll handle things, whatever shape it need take.
Life is short. Don’t wish it away! Put a BIG sign on the mirror. “Get yo Ass in Gear” and do it!
In general I agree with you! I’m REALLY good at putting my head down and doing it, and I don’t like excuses. There’s usually a way. However…..I’ve also had more then my share of over training syndrome, burnout, and injury. So now when I don’t feel like training, which is unusual, I think it’s smart to take a step back and do some evaluation. Am I taking enough time for rest and recovery? I’m getting better….but I obviously don’t want to swing too far into couch potato status either….once I’ve figured out that it isn’t a rest and recovery issue its how to out the proverbial message on the mirror :). Sometimes boot camp works better and sometimes leading myself gently onward with a bribe works better. I’m doing more of the carrot this time just because I feel a little fragile.
Oh, I can so relate. I have never been so stressed as when I was buying (and then completely gutting and renovating) my house. So many decisions, all to be made after working all day, (then tiling the bathroom), it was overwhelming. I actually went to my doctor to talk about my anxiety, and she didn’t prescribe pills, she prescribed that I exercise and eat better (which, because I was stressed, I was avoiding). Plus you have other factors (adorable Fig, a newish job)! I think you’re doing ok. And if you don’t find your way all that time, that’s OK too. We’ll listen either way!
A couple of nights ago I briefly considered going back on meds for a while. But then I decided that was silly if just by getting out the door for a walk every day I could get 80 to 90% improvement. It made more sense to do that.
It’s amazing what sleep, showers, and good nutrition with a little bit of sunshine will do. And how hard it is to remember that when you’re in the trenches with something like this. It does help to know that others have done this and survived 🙂
did you have major when you were buying your house and doing all that?
I had a new job but I didn’t have Major, just a lease horse. But I did keep riding in a weekly lesson, which was good and MADE me do something fun. If you can, live in the house awhile before you make too many big decisions, you’d be surprised how your mind can change. (I did NOT take that advice since the house was so disgusting, but I probably should have as there are things 10 years later I really wish I’d done differently but am now too busy to change).
We are doing interior paint, floors, and door sets along with fixing all the broken stuff pre move in. No major remodeling until we’ve been in a while. It’s a Fannie Mae forclosure that was built in the 1970s that seriously hasn’t been updated since then and it pretty beat up.
My husband is a DO ALL THINGS NOW person and I’m for waiting and see what seems good once we move in and been there for a while. Your advice is excellent and is yet another reason it does no good for me to make too many decisions now about stuff that I’ll probably change my mind about once I move in anyways.
I hear ya, loud and clear. If you can get outside–even just because you parked the car two blocks further than usual–do that. It helps. Also, Vitamin D.
Beyond that, my best advice is to hunker and survive. That’s all I’ve got.
“Buying a house and completely updating it – but not all at once – requires so many small important decisions that it’s a wonder I have enough willpower not to eat a gallon of ice cream every night and binge on Netflix and library books every chance I get (Oh wait, that IS what I’m doing).”
Wow. I honestly never thought about house renovations contributing to decision fatigue. My husband refuses to have the slightest say in any of it, so I’m doing the research, presenting it to him, making the decisions anyway, and then doing all the work. I just figured it was straightforward tasks, but of course it’s not. Thank you for posting this.
If some rooms have paint that is ok enough that you can live with it, don’t change it until you’ve been in the house for a while.
I say this because what may seem like a great colour before you’ve lived there, may not be so good after a winter or summer, when it makes the room too small/dark/bright what ever!
The other tip I was given was to mark on a wall where the sun hits and at what times of the day, so when remodelling things like kitchens, you can make sure the work surfaces are in the best position for the whole year, rather than great in winter and crap in summer!