February is the longest month
|February 17, 2016
|Posted by Melinda under Uncategorized
As I long suspected, February IS the longest month of the year, Aarene said so.
My train of motivation left the station at the beginning of the month and is currently whereabouts unknown. The horses are still in cryofreeze until Daylight savings (currently t = 25 days) but on day 6 of sitting inside watching yet another episode of Longmire on Netflix, completely unmotivated to do anything, I realized I had a single easy run on the books for last week despite beautiful sunshine and spring temps and I didn’t even want to go outside and walk.
Seasonal affective disorder? Maybe. Complete depletion of willpower because of copious amounts of decision-making? More than likely.
Moving changed my environment and made what had been structured as auto-decisions as conscious-decisions again.
Buying a house and completely updating it – but not all at once – requires so many small important decisions that it’s a wonder I have enough willpower not to eat a gallon of ice cream every night and binge on Netflix and library books every chance I get (Oh wait, that IS what I’m doing).
Decision making fatigued combined with winter’s last dark hurrah is not exactly a recipe for success. Spring is so close I can feel it and SEE it (the fruit trees are in bloom in CA’s central valley and the wildflowers have come out to play), but that doesn’t mean spring is here just yet.
I can’t fix the month of February (40 days and nights seems a bit long to me dontcha think?) but I can use what I know about willpower, motivation and training to feel like I’m still on track to achieve my long-term goals at the end of today.
- Running and strength training is unrealistic if I can’t even get out the door. Therefore plan on daily walks instead.
- Set up a reward myself for doing the small things every day (I like the iachievement app, mostly because I got it free). If you guys are interested in what my reward program looks like, let me know.
- Go to bed on time, wake up on time. Shower. These 3 things are the first to go when instead of “recovering and resting”, I’ve fallen into the trap of “cave dwelling hermit”.
- Automate as many house decisions as possible. Defer and put off as many house decisions (If we aren’t painting the exterior of the house until summer, I don’t have to decide on colors until later).
- Reinstitute as many auto decisions about day-to-day life as possible. It’s hard when everything about the situation is temporary. It seems like so much work and trouble to do anything but exist. But the reality is that trying to just exist without those autodecisions and structure in place is even more work.
- When overwhelmed and trying to get my footing and wondering where to begin…focus on the concept of Spark Joy.
- Continue to remind and reassure myself that the horses are just fine until their March deferment. Guilt doesn’t solve anything for me…just makes me want to sleep in later and eat cookies and read until the wee hours of the morning.
It’s as if all the insights I’ve blogged about in the last 7 years are being called upon right now. It’s as if I’m being asked whether I’ve truly learned anything in the last 7 years. Can I apply it and live it, not just think and write about it? Can I stay patient and pick the right time? Can I stay dedicated and focused in the valleys? Can I trust that the tiny microsteps that I take daily will add up to something magical in the future? Will I let my circumstances be an excuse or will I continue to find a way?
Not for the first or last time do I wish I could flip ahead a couple of chapters in the book of life and see what happens.