ML and MeL updates
|October 1, 2014||Posted by Melinda under Uncategorized|
The ML update is intimately entwined with the Mel update, so let’s start at the beginning and see where it takes us.
When I checked on ML this morning, after writing the previous blog, she was a LOT worse than last night.
Last night I didn’t actually notice anything until half way through a ride where she was more quiet than usual and then saw a small draining tract with minimum swelling.
This morning I had a lame horse, with significant more swelling, more drainage, who was very quiet, painful and most definitely unhappy. She sorta limped around, ate hay….but no doubt she was a sick horse.
She was really reactive – went up on her hind legs a couple of times but with quiet and slow movements let me clean her up pretty well and I smeared ichthammol ointment all over – mostly because the BO wanted me to and I thought it couldn’t hurt.
The Barn Owner helped me and confirmed a vet was coming that afternoon, so I bid ML adieu, knowing I wouldn’t see her for 36 hours and a little worried she looked so crappy compared to yesterday – but also knowing that the abscesses would probably look worse before they looked better and the risk of complications with Pigeon Fever is really low. So yes this sucks, but we will get through it.
I didn’t think to give her bute ’til I was an hour away, so ah well. I messaged the BO and begged her to try to get the vet to prescribe me some tablets because I wasn’t sure I had any that weren’t expired.
Then tried to move on with my day.
Which I was marginally successful at considering the lack of sleep and high anxiety last night dealing with yet another straw on this poor tired’s camelback called “Pigeon Fever” which had increased in size and weight greatly after seeing poor ML this morning.
I had spent the night deciding I wasn’t emotionally ready to handle a time and emotionally intensive rotation like what was coming up next week. I promised myself I would talk to admin and try to belatedly get time off that I didn’t really take after my sister died 3 months ago. Then I tried to sort through my motives to make absolutely sure I wasn’t just sneakily trying to do it so I could have the week before and after my 50 mile ultra off, or baby my poor abscess-riddled horse. I decided that no, panic attacks, and feeling constantly on edge because it just takes one.more.thing to completely rattle me means there is something WRONG.
But then I woke up and being an eternal optimist, everything seemed more doable. Even if I was more cranky, less patient, and there was a bitter, desperate tone to my humor. Totally doable!
Which lasted approximately until 4:50pm, when I called my husband to beg him to stop by and give ML some carrots and love after work “just because” and I found out he was on the side of the road with CHP after being in an accident coming home.
At which point I bolted towards admin office with 10 minutes to spare, pleading to be allowed to take 2 weeks of leave starting Monday because I had found my breaking point and it was 2 incidents of bad family news, a sick horse, a car accident, a couple of redgirl-related incidents, and a serious lack of sleep in a period of 48 hours.
Combined that with some serious anxiety about my upcoming rotation next week because I’m still at that place in grieving where a couple of times a week I need to excuse myself for 5 min and take some quiet time and deep breaths. I couldn’t imagine that was possible in the upcoming rotation that involves being locked in a truck with my peers and instructors doing ranch calls for 8 hours a day and being on call every other night.
So, just like that I’m off for the next two weeks. Which is wonderful and awful at the same time. Wonderful because I feel like I’m ready to take the time for redgirl that I wasn’t ready/able to take in June, and awful because I have to make up these 2 weeks post graduation.
As always, about the time I reach the point I actually DO something about anything, I catch a break.
The Barn Owner called with the vet beside her to tell me that MerryLegs looked SO MUCH better than this morning. Like, night and day. Almost even better – she was being the perfect little patient for the BO and the vet while they worked on her.
I’m reasonably sure at this point ichthammol is complete magic.
No antibiotics, but a 3 day course of bute ’cause she had a little fever and it will help her feel more comfortable.
Since it will be easier to throw ML medicated mashes twice a day if she’s by herself, I had a brilliant idea of moving Farley out of the pasture into the smaller quarantine pen in order to isolate ML instead of moving ML. ML doesn’t need the additional stress of being put into new pen away from her familiar friends and neighbors (who at this point either have it or don’t). And seriously, what’s the risk moving Farley to the small isolated pen next to the other pigeon fever horse? That she might get pigeon fever? BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Of course, with the good news about ML under my belt, my load feels lighter and now I feel like maybe I could do 2 weeks of equine field service?
But that’s been the trap all along – most of the time I’m doing OK. Not great. Just OK. Waiting until “that one thing” comes along and is too much. Which happens most regularly when I’m on call or having to deal with the unexpected or can’t get any alone time. And that seems to be the very definition of the equine field service rotation.
Not the right rotation for me, right now. The easiest way to shuffle my schedule around is to simply delay it instead of trying to switch it with something else, and perhaps at the end of the 2 weeks off instead of just “taking it easy” I’ll be a little more steady in my orbit and I little less easily knocked askew.
And just maybe, I’ll get some sleep tonight. And tomorrow evening I’ll drive way too fast to the stable where my MerryLegs will eat my carrots and Farley will still be pigeon-fever free (if pissed that she has been placed in the pen of shame that was once occupied by a steer, and most recently a mini-horse.).